What a relief. Not telling what.

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i canz open door ok just dont lock it

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Bedbugs

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I made myself a nice steak. Your bowl of dry brown nuggets is on the floor. By the trash can.

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I can has dignity back?

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Flashback to being a teen going to pick up my date And I see her dad looking out the window.

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I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year This year, it's Election night.

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introducing: The MilkBone Fairy

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I can smile. See me smile? Kin I hassa treats?

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I don't always travel in a car. When I do, James drives.

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We flipped for it and I won. Joey's in the dog bed on the floor

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Yes, we're photoshopped … but did someone also copy-paste too many puppies?

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I'm for going to the vet, whatever that is. I bet they have good rides

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LoLympics * R U G - B E E *

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Even when asleep, Bernie pushed the limits

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No, I didn't walk into a door, but thanks for asking

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